Pumping Up The Funny

There's a weight class at my gym that I take one or two times a week and, even though I like doing it, I honestly find it pretty tough. Especially anything that focuses on arm strength, because mine are like pipe cleaners. What makes it bearable is that the instructors are very enthusiastic and the music used throughout the class is usually upbeat and motivating.

Sometimes, though, the music can be distracting if, for instance, I find it annoying. Or, as in the case of a dance version of the Manfred Mann classic Blinded by the Light, it sends me into a fit of giggles because it reminds of an old comedy sketch. Here's video of that sketch - by comedy troupe The Vacant Lot - so you can get an idea of where I'm coming from.


Note: the picture isn't the greatest but the audio is clear.




Yep, that's what I'm thinking about when I'm pumping iron at the gym.

Oh Scarlett

Here is the new video for Falling Down, the first single from the debut album Anywhere I Lay My Head (an album of Tom Waits covers) by actress Scarlett Johannson.







She doesn't do a terrible job with the song. Her vocals are uninspired though not completely offensive and the overall arrangement is nice.

The video, however, is another matter.

Shots of Scarlett looking pensive, introspective and staring wistfully out of a car window. We also have a full 45 seconds of her getting all done up by a professional hair and make up team - from L' Oreal, I would have to presume - and then making her way to some sort of film shoot. I don't know that it's necessarily a good idea to remind everyone of your day job while you're trying to be taken seriously as a singer. Just saying.

Also WTF, Salman Rushdie (at the 3:10 mark)? Seriously?!?

Maybe I missed the deeper meaning of this video but it just didn't work for me. If anyone one would like to provide further insight, please do so in the comments section.

Rainy Days And Mondays

I'm so bummed about the weather that this is all the effort I feel I can put towards blogging today.

Bleh.

Late Night TV Preview: April 28 - May 3, 2008

Here are some of the musical artists scheduled to appear on late night TV in the coming week. Note: * indicates an encore episode.

MONDAY

• Feist - The Colbert Report (11:30pm - Comedy Network)
• Duffy - Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35pm - NBC, A-Channel)
• The Roots w/ Chrisette Michele - Late Show with David Letterman (11:35pm - CBS, OMNI)
• Santogold - Late Night with Conan O'Brien (12:35am - NBC, A-Channel)
• Morrissey - Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:35am - CBS, E!)

Santogold L.E.S. Artistes



TUESDAY

• Alicia Keys - Letterman
• Cinematic Orchestra - Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05am - ABC, CityTV)
  
• The Kills - Conan
• Morrissey - Ferguson
• Serj Tankian - Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35am - NBC)

The Kills Cheap and Cheerful



WEDNESDAY

• Def Leppard - Kimmel
  
• Feist - Conan
• Grand Archives - Ferguson

THURSDAY

• Robyn - Letterman
• Stone Temple Pilots - Kimmel
• She & Him - Ferguson
• Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Carson

Robyn With Every Heartbeat


Does It Offend You, Yeah? We Are Rockstars





FRIDAY

• Sleepercar - Leno
• Nick Lowe - Letterman
• Estelle - Kimmel
• Was (Not Was) - Conan
• Ben Harper - Carson*

SATURDAY

• Mariah Carey - Saturday Night Live* (11:30pm - NBC, GlobalTV)

Virgin Fest Roster Grows (Yet Stagnates)

Earlier this week, the organizers of Virgin Festival Toronto 2008 announced the addition of two acts to the bill. On September 6, the (don't call them) psychedelic rockers MGMT will grace the stage while UK band The Wombats will cross the pond to perform on September 7.


The Wombats Moving to New York



You know, I like almost all of the bands that are on the line up so far but the lack of variety amongst the gender, genre and ethnicity of the acts is kind of a buzz kill. I'm not saying they've got to cover every aspect but, come on, put forth some effort. At this rate, it might actually be necessary to change the name to White Bread & Sausage Festival Toronto 2008.

Dicks, Chicks or Ewan

(AKA Bros, Hos or Ewan)



Three fairly high profile movies opening this weekend with, presumably, three different target audiences. Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay for the young adult males. Baby Mama for the 30-something-ish females and Deception for anyone else who's more into arty suspense thrillers.


Though I rarely go to the movies anymore (I usually just wait for the DVD), I am considering checking out one of these movies this weekend. So, let's review the options.

Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

The long-awaited (?) followup to the the 2004 sleeper hit Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle sees our intrepid Asian-American title characters (played by John Cho and Kal Penn respectively) on the run as after they are falsely accused of being anti-American terrorists. Or something. Really what's selling this sequel is the "stoner Odd Couple" misadventures of the boys, some well placed political and pop culture references (read: poo and sex jokes) and a highly anticipated appearance by Neil Patrick Harris, once again playing a tweaked out version of himself.






Pros: H & K & NPH.

Cons: It's a sequel to a movie that, itself, was based on a paper-thin premise. Sure, they managed to capitalize on the inherent hilarity the first time around but who's to say they'll find that magic again. We'll see how this goes.

Baby Mama

In this estrogen-filled twist on the traditional Odd Couple premise (did I use that reference already?), Tina Fey plays an single, uptight, infertile career woman who enlists the drifting and witless Amy Poehler character to be her surrogate mother. The two end up living together under the same roof for the length of the gestation period and, presumably, hilarity ensues.







Pros: Tina Fey is on a comedy gold streak and is often pegged as having blazed the trail for the current crop of successful female comedians. She parlayed her award-winning stint as the head writer and Weekend Update anchor for Saturday Night Live into her current role as the writer executive producer and star of the smash sitcom 30 Rock. Along the way, she wrote the screen adaptation for and had a supporting role in the dark teen comedy Mean Girls.

Fey's former SNL cast mate and the current successor to her Weekend Update chair, Amy Poehler, is quickly becoming known as the go-to girl to play slightly off-kilter, possibly demented sidekicks.

Cons: If you exclude the Will Ferrell filmography, when was the last time you saw a movie helmed by a current or former SNL cast member that didn't make you cringe? Exactly.

Deception

Ewan McGregor plays a meek Manhattan auditor who is drawn into a world of sex, secrets and possibly murder by a seductively dangerous hustler played by Hugh Jackman. Michelle Williams may or may not be playing a call girl.

Pros: The against-type Odd Couple (Yes! Three for three!) of McGregor and Jackman do, in theory, make an intriguing on-screen pair. Also, I've just about forgiven Ewan for the mess that was Star Wars: Episodes I, II and III and am prepared to see him once again as the ace indie actor that I once adored. Throw in Michelle Williams as the throwback femme fatale character and you've got the makings of a taut, tense film experience.

Cons: Suspense thrillers usually live or die by their ability to take intrigue and follow it through to a satisfying conclusion at the end of the film. That being said, I have to admit that I've had trouble making it all the way through to the end of the TV ads for Deception before my attention starts to drift. Clearly, not a good sign. Also, any role where McGregor has to whip out the American accent (Big Fish, notwithstanding) does not bode well for the film as a whole.

Truthfully, I'm probably not going to bother to see any of these films during their respective theatrical runs. However, if any of you out there do, please feel free to leave your mini reviews in the comments section. I'll keep your opinions in mind for when the DVDs are released.

Oh, Come On!

Toronto is a major live music metropolis. Even during the winter, the city is usually abuzz with any number of club gigs and stadium shows. Come the warm weather and, with it the opportunity for day/weekend-long festivals, that number can reach a ridiculous amount and the average music lover can find him/herself faced with some difficult (though not entirely unpleasant) decisions.

Which is where I am at the moment.

On July 20/08, Toronto will be host to two rather impressive musical extravaganzas. There's the Rogers Picnic, scheduled to be held at Historic Fort York and featuring Cat Power, Dizzee Rascal, The Carps, Tokyo Police Club, Chromeo and Animal Collective among others.

The Carps Compton To Scarborough


Cat Power Lived In Bars


Dizzee Rascal Sirens

That same day, at a venue as yet to be determined, the touring hip hop party Rock The Bells makes it's Toronto debut with the likes of A Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, Mos Def, Rakim, Kid Sister, Method Man & Redman and Spank Rock.

A Tribe Called Quest Bonita Applebaum


Spank Rock Rick Rubin

Talk about being spoiled for choice.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do at this point. Since tickets for the Picnic are on sale now and reasonably priced at about $40, I'll probably go ahead and by one just to be safe. I'll wait to see how much the RTB tickets are and where it's going to be held (yes, that's important to me) and then just decide from there.

Suffice it to say, if you see a small, harried black girl running around the city this coming July 20, that'll be me.

She & Him & Conan & Yo La Tengo

Twang-pop band She & Him (otherwise known as musician M. Ward and actress Zooey Deschanel) performed last night on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and were joined on stage by Hoboken trio (and ketchup enthusiasts) Yo La Tengo.

Due to a nagging illness (which had caused the band to cancel a concert the night before), Zooey looks a bit out of sorts and mostly just sing-talks her way through the song but the whole thing still comes off as quite lovely.


Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?



She & Him went on to play a show that night at New York's Webster Hall which combined the previous night's cancelled gig with an already scheduled concert. They play two sold out shows in LA next week and have one more upcoming in San Francisco next month.

Happy Earth Day 2008!

I'm not going to get all gloom-and-doom and lecture-y about the state of our planet. You know what the deal is and what you could/should be doing to help out.

Instead, I'm going to post a few videos from one of the most earth-conscious musical artists out there: Jamiroquai. From Day 1, Jay Kay and crew have been espousing the virtues of nurturing and preserving Mother Nature so I thought I'd post a few of their planet-friendly videos.



When You Gonna Learn (1993)


Virtual Insanity (1996)


Corner of the Earth (2001)

Some Charlotte For Your Monday Evening

Beauty Mark

Late Night TV Preview: April 21 - 26, 2008

Here are some of the musical artists scheduled to appear on late night TV in the coming week. Note: * indicates an encore episode.


MONDAY

• Grizzly Bear - Late Night with Conan O'Brien (12:35am - NBC, A-Channel)

TUESDAY

• Goldfrapp - Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35pm - NBC, A-Channel)
• Kathleen Edwards - Late Show with David Letterman (11:35pm - CBS, OMNI)
• She & Him - Conan

Goldfrapp A&E



WEDNESDAY

• Tegan & Sara - Leno
• Tokyo Police Club - Letterman
• Vampire Weekend - Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05am - ABC, CityTV)
  
• Radiohead - Conan

Tegan & Sara The Con



THURSDAY

• Old 97s - Leno
• Estelle - Letterman

FRIDAY

• Mel C. (panel guest), Rufus Wainwright (musical performer) - Graham Norton Show (10pm - BBC Canada)
• Jon Bon Jovi - Graham Norton Show (11pm - BBC Kids)
• Ray Davies - Austin City Limits (11:30pm - WNED)
  
• Prince - Leno
• The Black Crows - Letterman
• The Swell Season - Kimmel
• Matt Costa - Last Call with Carson Daly* (1:35qm - NBC)

Prince Alphabet Street




SATURDAY

• Shane McGowan - Henry Rollins Show (9pm & 2:35am - IFC Canada)

Owen, Is That You?

The Last Shadow Puppets appeared on he most recent episode of Later...with Jools Holland, marking their first performance with a full band and support by the London Symphony Orchestra. I have it on good authority (or rather, the authority of the NME, so take that any way you like) that the orchestra conductor was none other than Owen Pallet aka Final Fantasy.

The Age of the Understatement


My Mistakes Were Made For You


In My Room



Pallett is credited with the orchestral arrangements and conducting duties on the Shadow Puppets debut album, The Age of the Understatement, so it makes sense that he would be there. Though, if he was in attendance, I'm not sure why there isn't one clear shot of him, especially when there seemed to be a concerted effort to film the rest of the orchestra. Perhaps it was felt that his innate brilliance of his mere presence would overshadow (see what I did there) the band. Yeah, that sounds about right.


Well, in an effort to right this wrong, I present to you this somewhat more clear video of our dear Owen live at The Great Hall in Toronto on April 8, where he performed the opening slot for Jens Lekman. I was lucky enough to attend this concert and it was really a great night of music.

What Do You Think Will Happen



Hey, what the heck, let's throw in some Jens, too.

Postcard To Nina

Girl Group Fallout!

Alright, the news really isn't as melodramatic as that title makes it seem. However, it is true that retro pop femmes, The Pipettes, are down two members. As of today, RiotBecki and Rosay have left, already replaced by Ani and Anna. This latest shuffle means The Pipettes have lost all of the original singers , since remaining vocalist Gwenno originally replaced Julia in an earlier incarnation of the group. No idea why none of these people have last names.

Though the change appears drastic, it does seem that there is no ill-will among the current and former members. A statement from the official Pipettes website wishes the departees well in their future musical endeavours and even jokingly refers to the change up as a purposeful attempt "to go one better than [the revolving door membership of] the Sugababes".

Pull Shapes



In the above video, The Pipettes appear with their backup band The Cassettes including their now former drummer, Joe Lean aka Joe van Moyland né Joseph Antony Bernays Beamont (he's got enough surnames for everyone). Currently, he fronts the band Joe Lean & the Jing Jang Jong. Despite the name, they're actually quite good.


Where Do You Go?

Have A May-Jah Birthday Posh!

So fierce!

Oh Say Can You See...The Roots...On The Colbert Report

Philly band The Roots went all Jimi Hendrix on last night's (April 15) episode of The Colbert Report. Members ?uestlove, "Captain" Kirk Douglas and some guy I don't recognize performed the Hendrix version of The Star Spangled Banner to close out the episode. There was even some enthusiastic breaking of guitars, though no instruments were set ablaze.



The band appeared on the Report as part of the a special week-long broadcast from the City of Brotherly Love, just prior to the April 22, Pennsylvania Democratic Presidential Primary. Singer John Legend, appeared on the Report the previous night (April 14) to duet with host Stephen Colbert on a more traditional version of the US national anthem.

Get Thee To Public Access Television, Ho!

I know there's a certain level of "celebrity" that is really no more than a walking punchline. Pretty much anyone who's ever appeared on a reality show would fall into that category and a completely whack, white rapper from the 90s like Vanilla Ice might as well have the words "knock, knock" tattooed on his forehead. However, some things shouldn't be turned into a joke. I think spousal abuse is right up there in the "no laughing matter" top ten. Other people, like this KTLA reporter, seem to disagree.

Sure, local news broadcasts often employ humourous banter to lighten the mood but I think this woman was completely inappropriate. I don't even think TMZ would have done such a tasteless segue. Yeah, I went there.

I would hope that the reporter at least got a severe reprimand but since she's a young attractive blond working in L.A., she's probably been made station manager.

Hello, "Day Old News"? Yes, I'd Like To Cancel My Subscription

I think I'm just going to stick with Behind The Times.

This past weekend, I discovered that the song I've had stuck in my head for the last month or so...


Colin Munroe I Want Those Flashing Lights



is actually a remix/cover version of this song:

Kanye West Flashing Lights



Kanye even gives Colin a shout out on his blog.

Yeah, I really don't have much to say in my defense. Excuse me while I return to the depths of oblivion.

Late Night TV Preview: April 14 - 19, 2008

Here are some of the musical artists scheduled to appear on late night TV in the coming week. Note: * indicates an encore episode.

MONDAY

• John Legend - The Colbert Report (11pm - Comedy Network)
• Spoon - Late Night with Conan O'Brien* (12:35am - NBC, A-Channel)
• Daniel Lanois - Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:35am - CBS, E!)
• Morrissey - Last Call with Carson Daly* (1:35am - NBC)

TUESDAY

• The Roots - Colbert
• Rogue Wave - Late Show with David Letterman (11:35pm - CBS, OMNI)

The Roots Don't Feel Right/Here I Come



WEDNESDAY

• Young @ Heart Chorus - Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35pm - NBC, A-Channel)
• The Gossip - Letterman
• Slash - Conan*

The Gossip Listen Up



THURSDAY

• Mary J. Blige & Jay-Z - Tavis Smiley (11pm - PBS)
• The Black Keys - Letterman

FRIDAY

• The Kooks - Conan*
• Morrissey - Ferguson

SATURDAY

• Vampire Weekend - Saturday Night Live* (11:30pm - NBC, GlobalTV)
  

All Of A Sudden, I Crave Cheese Curds

I caught the following musical and visual gem on last night's episode of The Wedge.



Omnikrom ft. TTC Danse La Poutine


Ajoute la sauce et le fromage squeeze squeeze

Brilliance.

No, seriously, I'm really hungry now.

BeJay

AKA Beyoncé Knowles and Jay-Z aka my new favourite celebrity couple.






Not that they're actually a new couple. They've been dating for approximately the last six years though neither has publicly confirmed the union and reports of their wedding last Friday (April 4) have been similarly sketchy. I don't really care either way - they're actual relationship status has nothing to do with why I've suddenly become so much more fond of them.

No, I'm irrationally delighted by the fact that somebody finally thought to combine their names into the fabulously crass moniker BeJay.

My inner 14-year old boy finds it all just so side-splittingly funny.

I Will Be Unavailable This Evening...

from 8:30 - 9:30pm EDT.

I'll be attending an office dinner party...




...and hanging with my dreamy future baby-daddy Kenneth.



Just so you know.

Prince Crashes Coachella

It has been confirmed that His Pocket-sized Purpleness will be bringing a whole lot of fierce to the headlining spot on the second night of the annual California festival.







Epic.

Make It Work: Personal Style Edition

I was flipping around TV stations last night when I happened upon a show called Tim Gunn's Guide To Style, hosted by the aforementioned Project Runway guru alongside former model Veronica Webb.

The show is pretty much a combination of What Not To Wear and Queer Eye For the Straight Girl, with Gunn and Webb working makeover magic on hapless, style-challenged women. It's very entertaining on a purely "fun with fashion" level but it's also interesting, as with similar shows, how the women's personalities blossom as their wardrobes improve.







I have to admit, I'm always feel a tinge of jealousy as I watch these shows. I mean, these women are practically clueless about what looks good on them yet they're treated to all expense paid shopping sprees and salon treatments with professional stylists guiding them every step of the way. I was seriously faint as I watched the woman in last night's episode traipsing around the Catherine Malandrino boutique, trying on every dress that caught her fancy while the designer herself stood by and made suggestions.

Meanwhile, here I am with, I believe, some semblance of a decent personal style and I'm relegated to hunting on eBay or scrounging around discount outlets and second-hand stores to find clothing that I like and that works on me.

I know these women are getting this guidance because they need it but, just once, I'd like too see a show called Yes, Girl, You Are A Fabulous Fashionista, Now Here's 5Gs To Help You Work It That Much More. I really don't think that's too much to ask.

Tim Gunn's Guide To Style airs Monday nights at 9pm on Slice.

Feist Scores Five Award Sweep At 2008 Junos

Jokes about an obvious followup to her omnipresent smash single 1, 2, 3, 4 rev into overdrive.

Sealion (live at the Junos)

Late Night TV Preview: April 7 - 12, 2008

Here are some of the musical artists scheduled to appear on late night TV in the coming week. Note: * indicates an encore episode.


MONDAY

• Kenna w/ Pharrell Williams & Chad Hugo - Late Show wit David Letterman* (11:35pm - CBS, OMNI)
  
• Cobra Starship - Jimmy Kimmel Live* (12:05am - ABC, CityTV)
• Hot Chip - Late Night with Conan O'Brien (12:35am - NBC, A-Channel)

Kenna Say Goodbye to Love


Hot Chip Ready for the Floor



TUESDAY

• P.O.D. - Tonight Show with Jay Leno (11:35pm - NBC, A-Channel)
• The Mars Volta - Letterman
• Phantom Planet - Kimmel

WEDNESDAY

• Angie Stone - Leno
• Tapes N' Tapes - Conan

THURSDAY

• The Redwalls - Leno
• Switches - Kimmel
• They Might Be Giants - Conan
• Del Tha Funky Homosapian - Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson (12:35am - CBS, E!)
• Ben Harper - Last Call with Carson Daly (1:35am - NBC)

FRIDAY

• Courtney Love (panel guest) - Graham Norton Show (10pm & 2am - BBC Canada)
  
• Sinead O'Connor - Graham Norton Show (11pm & 3am - BBC Kids)

SATURDAY

• Gnarls Barkley - Saturday Night Live (11:30pm - NBC, GlobalTV)

Gnarls Barkley Run

A Brief, Selective List Of Things I Am Thankful For Today

1. Enjoyed: A Tribute to Bjork's Post - Exactly as the title would have you believe. The kids at music blog Stereogum took some time away from being all witty and ironic and shit to put together this free download compilation of indie artists covering songs from original 1995 release. So, we get Isobel redone by Xiu Xiu, Dirty Projectors' take on Hyperballad, two versions of It's Oh So Quiet (one by Bell and the other by No Age) and a hauntingly addictive makeover of Possibly Maybe by Final Fantasy & Ed Droste. So lovely.
2. For the first time this year, I was able to go outside in shoes and no socks. Huzzah! Here's to even better and better weather!

Of course, nothing can really compare to the original.


Bjork Hyperballad

April 4, 1968

What if things had turned out differently?

A Handy Buyer's Guide

In an effort to make my new(ish)ly purchased condo look somewhat more stylishly homey and less like an Ikea graveyard, I've decided to go the secondhand/vintage furniture route. Anyone who has ever attempted to purchase outside of the standard new product, retail industry knows how tedious a chore this can be. Thankfully, I've been happy with the price/condition of the few items I've purchased so far. It seems, however, that it's not been quite as pleasant an experience for some.





I was doing my daily peruse of craigslist earlier and came across the following entry:



Deciphering a craigslist listing
Reply to: see below

Date: 2008-04-02, 9:27PM EDT



Rosewood - cheap wood or particleboard that has been splashed with red stain



Vintage - this ugly duckling has been in my garage for 20 years and I sure hope it's worth something



beautiful - in the eye of the beholder. beware!



solid - I can't move it, get it out of here



all-wood - the particleboard is hidden quite well indeed



antique-look - 1970s kitsch



retro - I found this on the curb and thought it looked cool, but the wife won't let me keep it



I don't have pictures - It's ugly but maybe I can charm or pressure you into taking it when you arrive


This item has been posted by-owner.
Location: Frustrationville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests







BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!



Awwww, I really do hope this person has some better luck in the future.

Death On The Island

Death Cab For Cutie will be the headlining act for the Olympic Island 2008 music festival, scheduled for June 7. Also on the bill (so far) are Stars, Rogue Wave and Young Galaxy. Tickets are $49.50adv + ferry/service fees and go on sale this Thursday (April 3) at noon through all the usual outlets.





DCFC Soul Meets Body


Stars Elevator Love Letter

Oh, Hey There Mr. 24 Guy!

Don't get too excited, I'm not talking about Kiefer.

I was shopping at Loblaws on my lunch break today and, as I was making way to the Joe Fresh department, I passed Carlos Rota coming out of the LCBO section (and, yes, this store is just as ginormous as I'm making it sound).

If that name isn't readily familiar, you may recognize Rota as the host of the Great Canadian Food Show or from the hit CBC comedy Little Mosque on the Prairie where he plays Lebanese-Canadian construction contractor Yasir Hamoudi or (like me) as the 24 character Morris O'Brien, the on again/off again/now on again love interest to the lovably cranky Chloe O'Brien.

24 (some previously not aired footage - kind of gross and probably NSFW)


I miss 24. Kiefer, get your DUI-having, Christmas tree-attacking, lovable yet fierce, slightly undersized, felon ass back to work already so I can get my man-purse fix. Dammit!

I've actually seen Mr. Rota out and about in Toronto once previously - he was wandering amongst several hundred other people in Trinity Bellwoods Park during Nuit Blanche last September.